How to Get the Engagement Ring You Want

When you’re in a serious relationship, you will inevitably find your mind wandering toward that perfect engagement ring. Some of us dream of it long before we even meet Prince Charming! However new or old your ideal of his token of commitment, you undoubtedly have a very clear idea about it. You know what type of metal, what setting, and what stone you want.

Your boyfriend? Eh, not so much.

Men are typically not very good at choosing jewelry, and they’re even worse at reading minds. At the same time, they want to feel like big boys when they select an engagement ring, and they expect to feel all clever and intuitive in taking your input into consideration before buying.

This won’t happen without your help. If you want an engagement ring with black diamonds, you had better make sure that he has an idea about it. Otherwise, he will get a traditional clear stone, leaving you in the awkward position of saying yes to the proposal without wanting to say yes to the ring.

How do you skillfully guide him toward the right ring? Is there any hope? Yes, there is. A man who pays enough attention to your needs to earn a “yes” to his bended knee will pick up on your clues about what should go on the third finger of your left hand. When he does, those engagement photos will capture an unabashed love and enthusiasm.

Here’s how to keep him on track.

Talk About It Early, But Indirectly

After that first moment of realization that he might be The One, you need to start getting your ducks in a row. Banish any fear of jinxing things; a few simple hints are in order right now!

For many of us, we are approaching a potential engagement at around the same time that friends, co-workers, or relatives are also at that stage. Any recent college graduate has probably burned off half of their first year’s vacation time by scampering about the country for the nuptials of friends.

The point is that engagements and weddings will be coming up in conversation very frequently, and in a way that doesn’t strike fear into his heart. Be direct! As you snuggle in a pew to watch a friend tie the knot, be sure you provide some commentary. “Look at Brooke’s engagement ring. I love that setting.” He’ll dismiss it as girl talk more than instructions, but if he’s a keeper, the conversation should register in his head.

Employ Your Friends

Is there anything more important than his wing man, or your BFF? Getting those close accomplices to play a part in guiding him to the right display case is a big part of a relationship, and those bonds will help you achieve other things too.

Tell your friends, siblings, and other intimates to listen when they are around him, and to try to steer him in the right direction when the topic drifts onto rings. The great thing is that they can be a little more direct with him–“She absolutely hates white gold. When we roomed together, she didn’t have a single piece.” Surely he will catch on to that!

Use his friends, too. You can sometimes pump them for information, but you should at least plant a seed here and there to suggest they monitor his musings if they wander by the jewelry store, or if he discusses his sister’s ring, or his mom’s…you get the idea. Make sure his friends have an idea of what’s up with your bling aspirations.

Play The Mom Card

It’s not a fair fight, ladies. Don’t be afraid to drop a few hints with his mom (or his dad, for that matter.) Parents typically want Junior to do right by his beloved, so they will crack the whip to get him to do the right thing.

And all the sneaking around with your potential mother-in-law will help the two of you bond (assuming she likes you!). If she knows there is some talk of marriage between the two of you, she will be touched that you have made an effort to involve her in the plot.

Men typically listen to advice about these things from their parents, so don’t miss a chance to enlist their help.

Waiting on a proposal can seem like an interminable process, but once he pops the question, you’ll be glad that you used that time to get him to buy the right ring. Good luck!